Dispatch Tulum: Part 2

 I rarely touch alcohol in our daily life, but there’s a sense of obligation I feel in Mexico at every meal; after Shari orders her Diet Coke with extra limes, the waiters always turn to me with an all-knowing, shit-eating grin, as if we secretly understand one another, and say, “And for you Senor, una cerveza? Tequila?” Those are the only two choices. “Si.” What else could I possibly say? I average two cervezas per lunch and two very strong margaritas each night, and it’s perfect timing given that I’ve just started a new tricyclic antidepressant, the accompanying literature for which includes a warning against combining it with alcohol, but what could I do? This was tequila-land.  As it turns out, the only sign that the drinks effect me at all is that I seem to find the idea of ordering “Casa Varnishkes” hilarious and worth repeating several times until I get a chuckle out of Shari. 

Fig. 1

We go for a kayak trip through the Sian Ka’an Biosphere Reserve, which a number of people told us was a “can’t miss” because of all the wildlife, but our guide waits until we are well into what appears to be an uninhabited swamp to mention that it is “too bad you here now, all the birds finish for this season,” so there is only an endless expanse of mangroves (Fig 1), which he talks about continuously and at length, the only part of which I’ve retained is that apparently it’s a plant that grows in swamps.

Fig. 2

Several times he steers us close to a clump of mangroves (Fig 2), claiming that he hears the call of some exotic creature hiding in the middle, only to say, “Too bad; when we get back, I show you picture, is incredible.”  It reminds us both of the “Jungle Night Walk” we took in Costa Rica where the guide spent a considerable amount of time pointing out an inchworm (Fig. 3).  We’re never too successful at spotting the animals that are featured on all the postcards and t-shirts from any particular region.

Fig. 3

For example. this is my t-shirt from Costa Rica (Fig. 4), but the shirt is the only place we ever saw this parrot:  

Fig. 4

The one notable exception to this occurs when we visit the famous Mayan ruins of Tulum, the highlight of which are all the lizards everywhere, reminiscent of Jurassic Park, only in miniature (Fig. 5).

Fig. 5 

 Shari and I discovered early on in our relationship that one of the things we share is an incredible lack of interest in reading plaques or learning about the history of things. That became clear the day her cousin from California dragged us through a historic battleground site in Fredericksburg, Virginia in 110 degree heat, while he not only read each plaque, but shot video footage of them.  The truth about battleground sites, though,  if you look carefully, is that apart from the plaques, there is absolutely nothing there but grass.  In any event, we paid our obligatory visit to the ruins in Tulum, failed to learn anything about Mayan culture, and pretty much decided to spend the rest of the week snorkeling, reading in the hammock, playing with Foxy the Dog, and staring wistfully out to sea.